i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you