normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself