In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...