shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence