So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
