can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
