apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize