i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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