turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
