he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
