filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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