Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
