I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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