This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
