I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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