Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
