She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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