were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
