Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
