You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
