so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
