The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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