whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I need water and some morals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
