Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
there is glitter all over my balls
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
