Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize