3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
