i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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