Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
