belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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