So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
