my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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