I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
