Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
