wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
