I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
