I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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