Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
