I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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