so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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