Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dick very happy bro
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
