So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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