Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
