I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
