you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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