Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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