It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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