Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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