didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
