As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
