We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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