Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How naked do you want me to be?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
