So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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