This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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