What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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