I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
