Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
