I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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